Eyebrows, an Identity Crisis and Angry Trolls

Never did I think I would start a blog … never did I think I would ever put eyebrows on … and never did I think an eyebrow video is what get me over 7 million views … but here we are!

I have always loved writing, so I am not sure why a blog never crossed my mind but I am excited to start bringing you monthly blogs! Whether it is personal stories, mental health tips or anything in between, I hope this space can provide some helpful insight so let’s kick it off!!!

If you follow me on instagram, you likely know what I will be talking about today. I did not think a video of me trying eyebrows for the first time would cause this much of a reaction! I figured people would be curious to see how I looked with eyebrows (even I was curious) but it certainly was watched by many more eyes than expected. Due to that, there are a lot trolls mad about how long it took me to put the eyebrows on (among other things) and I thought this would be a good place to explain my thought process going into that video, especially because I kept mentioning having an “identity crisis”. Lets talk about it!

Eyebrows

I think the best place to start is by explaining why I have never put on eyebrows before. If you are not aware, I developed Alopecia at age 4 and was completely bald by age 6. Due to this, most of what I have seen in the mirror my whole life is a girl who did not have hair. I was also a very stubborn and opinionated kid who certainly had her own sense of style. I grew up in a house where I had full choice in how I dressed and my appearance in general. This led to many questionable fashion choices lol but I love that I get to look back at photos of the outfits I put together with my own creativity. Not only was I very vocal about what I wanted to wear, but I was also very specific about how I wanted to deal with my hair loss.

When my Alopecia started I tried many treatments from steroid injections to essential oils. However, whenever I no longer wanted to try something that request was always honored by my parents. As you can see the trend here is that I was in a household that allowed me to have say in how I looked. Not only that, but Alopecia was never made to feel like a big deal to me by adults in my life (except for doctors… because they are obviously always pushing treatments but that’s a topic for another blog). I believe a lot of my choices regarding not wearing wigs or covering anything about my hair loss related to these factors. My opinionated fashionista self enjoyed being “special” to some extent, my parents did not make a big deal of my hair loss and my voice was always honored in how I wanted to appear to the world… and so that followed me through adulthood where I still have never chosen to wear a wig, draw brows, use hats etc. The only thing that did spark my interest was eyeliner and lashes once I got to my junior year of high school for prom, which are still my go-to (I will need to write a whole other blog about that) but until that point I had never done ANYTHING to cover any part of my hair loss.

As you can imagine, if you go this long looking one way, the idea of suddenly adding an extra step to my routine when I have already found confidence with my appearance did not make much sense. Truly, it never crossed my mind that I would try eyebrows until My Two Brows reached out asking if I would be open to sharing their product. My response to them is that I would be happy to spread the word because for many with hair loss this is a life changing product, but I made sure they were okay with the fact that I do not wear eyebrows. They were completely fine with this and then they sent me over some brows so I could share it with my audience. The thought briefly crossed my mind of what if I did put them on. I put up a poll on my story asking if I should do it and of course many people were curious LOL. From that point forward I figured why not just try it for fun…

An Identity Crisis

Well, soon after I thought about trying them out the flood gates of other thoughts began…

What if I like them? and ruin all the acceptance I have gained?

What if after this I can never see myself without brows again?

What if people only find me attractive with eyebrows after this?

More importantly, what if I only see myself as attractive with eyebrows after this?

These are just a few of the things that were running through my head. However, at the end of the day I knew the foundation of self worth, acceptance and self esteem I have built was too strong for a pair of eyebrows to ruin everything. Even in the midst of the fear, I knew that going out of my comfort zone would probably be worth it. I also wanted other people who also feel the same way be SEEN.

A LOT of content within the hair loss community represents how products such as wigs or eyebrows help people feel better. I thought this video would be an interesting contrast and could help represent that girls who feel worse when using some of these products. After all, part of the reason I started my journey on social media was because I had a hard time finding people who felt similar to me. The ones who feel completely inauthentic covering their hair loss and just want to exist exactly how they are. As always, I think it is AMAZING that so many people in our community feel confidence and authenticity with wigs, eyebrows or any other product. We need OPTIONS so that we can all navigate what feels most authentic to ourselves. This means we also need to see representation of all these options so that we know we are not alone. For a while it was really hard for me to find anyone who also chose the same “option” as me.

My hope was this video could reach the other people in our community who also felt like putting on a pair of eyebrows would give them an identity crisis, and luckily I think I did (although it also reached a lot of other people which we will get to next…). While I wanted the video to be fun and light hearted, I also wanted to show my genuine feelings of fear and worry during the process because that was very real. However, that ended up really pissing some people off.

Angry Trolls

As mentioned, I figured many people would be curious to see me with eyebrows on but I did not think this would be my first video with over a million views (currently over 7 million as I write this). My intention was also never to split this video into multiple parts. I had seen other girls make videos putting on their eyebrows and it seemed like a fairly quick process. I figured even if I wanted to show my genuine nerves that I would have time to show my true feelings and put the brows on within one video. Well… that ended up not being the case.

As I was editing the video I kept cutting more and more out. Still I was over the instagram time limit of 90 seconds. At that point I decided it made sense for Part 1 to show my process of figuring this out as someone who has never done it before and expressing my nerves (with humor along the way to help myself cope lol). Which meant Part 2 would obviously be finishing the process of putting them on and Part 3 would be removal. Well well well many did not like that haha. NEVER did I think that many people would be so invested in seeing myself with eyebrows that it would warrant a “fuck you” among other extreme phrases if they had to watch an extra video to see the finished product.

In some ways I get it, it is common strategy in the influencer world to split videos into multiple parts to keep people watching. However, there was absolutely no strategy on my end haha. Just a girl who wanted to be authentic about the whole process and who could not fit it all into one 90 second clip. The other misconception is that I was paid for those videos, which is absolutely false. I do not think any brand would pay for someone to feel worse after using their product haha. The only “payment” I receive is through an affiliate link for people to purchase the brows if they want. However, nearly all purchases I have received through my affiliate link have been from people getting the FREE sample packs which I make $0 from. I am all about transparency and currently my eyebrow affiliate link has made me a grand total of $1.36 USD which probably means only one purchase from my link was not the free pack. I have mainly promoted the free sample packs because I think it is such an incredible resource and I make absolutely no money from those, unless they turned into a paid customer in which I will get 20% (which amounts to barely anything as you see above). This partnership was not about money for me (the brand did not even know I was going to post those videos), it was about spreading the word about an important resource in our community.

Anyway, at the end of the day I am beyond proud of myself for doing something EXTREMELY out of my comfort zone. I currently have no plans to add eyebrows to my look, but I am so glad this product exists if I ever change my mind.

If you are interested in trying out My Two Brows, you can click here get a FREE sample pack!