Coping ahead with physical differences
When it comes to being a bald girl from a young age, I have had endless experiences of weird comments, stares, prayers in the middle of a grocery store… the list could go on.
While I also struggle with generalized anxiety, this tends to be a separate struggle than the anxiety I feel existing with a physical difference. Due to this, I had to develop different ways of coping that honored the fact my reality includes a lot of unwanted encounters which are not made up in my head (compared to some of my other anxieties lol)
Coping Ahead Strategy
Coping ahead helps us feel more prepared to manage and deal with situations in which you know anxiety may come up. I have a created a little formula that I use for myself, as well as, coach many of my clients through. I am going to provide you the steps in this blog!
Checking in with your capacity to handle stares, comments etc.
The first step is always asking myself what is my capacity to deal with stares, a rude comment, or a weird interaction today?
If I believe I can handle one of these things happening without a large negative impact on my day, then I can do the task.
If I am already having a tough day and believe a poor interaction will make it harder to function the rest of the day, then I check the priority of the task needed.
What is the priority level of the task in question?
A common place that gives me anxiety is the grocery store. Often I will go through this process before I get groceries.
If I have little to none groceries left, then this is a high priority task clearly because food is a necessity, in which my next step is to prep a response and relaxation for afterwards.
An example of a task that might rank lower in priority is if I still had enough groceries left, then I can wait for another day when I have a higher capacity.
Planning a response and relaxation
If my capacity is low AND it is a priority task, then I will prep a response to common scenarios so that I do not have the pressure of thinking in the moment and less likelihood of emotions dictating my response.
Usually I like to plan quick and easy responses such as “No, I am not sick it is called Alopecia which just means my hair does not grow”
The second part of the plan is relaxation. In the event that something does happen to lower my capacity for the day even further, I want to make sure I can make time for relaxation. For me this often includes a hot bath or a power nap.
Self Compassion
Existing with a physical difference can get exhausting! While going out of our comfort zone and living for ourselves (not others) is also very important, we also need to take into consideration that the typical person is not going through the same type of experience in public spaces. Due to that, I think checking in with ourselves is important and giving ourselves proper compassion when we just don’t have the energy is needed!
I hope you found this tool helpful and if you are looking for support on your hair loss journey, never hesitate to schedule a free call with me!
